tell me something i dont know, sister.
its funny how you can be in a completely innocent situation, and just like that, you might as well have gotten kicked in the damn stomach. here i am, staring at a total stranger in a usair uniform (with fab red lipstick by the way) who says something she probably says fifty times a day, to idiots like myself who dont know how to pack a damn suitcase. shes smiling, but not for long. i think she confuses the reason for my look of sheer panic. no darling, im not a poor college student who cant afford to check her bag. and hell no, im not carrying expensive jewels in there. i just couldnt refuse the ten pairs of shoes i brought for four days. just didnt want the rest to get lonely in my closet, i guess.
no, the grief im wearing on my face has nothing to do with this horrendous pack job. you just happened to have said the magic word. but there wasnt much time in the next five minutes for a pity party, because i had to simultaneously stuff five pairs of shoes under my seat per whispered orders from the flight attendant slash lifesaver without flashing my lace undies at an aisle full of not-so-thrilled passengers waiting to sit the fuck down. when the urge to throw up my breakfast subsided, i tried to figure out what exactly had hit me like a ton of bricks.
baggage.
and not the kind that comes from having too small a suitcase.
[disclaimer: i started this blog post about a month ago. trying to pick through the baggage of a would-be relationship, and decide whether or not it would subside. that would-be relationship is now in full force, and im thrilled. its facebook official, people. in fact, i cant remember the last time i was this genuinely happy. before i get all sappy and "look at me", please refer to the last five thousand blog posts. i am not susie sunshine when it comes to relationships and love. havent been for awhile. and i find myself cringing at the sheer romanticism of the fact that im this giddy. ive actually started to remember what it feels like for things to be easy, and for happiness to just spring out of the most random moments of nothing. so bear with me as i continue down baggage lane.]
in answer to the obvious question - no it has not subsided. if anything, it has gotten worse. the baggage has taken on a life of its own. at first, she was just a name. then, thanks to my good friend jd, a face. then, just a phone call or a text message. when she became a living breathing person, i knew it had gotten real. and apparently in la la land, we dont understand that when someone ignores your incessant texts about things you used to have in common and blocks your phone calls so that you cannot interrupt him at 230am while he is sleeping next to his girlfriend and leaves a bar you are at instead of coming over to say hi, it does not mean he wants you back. now, im willing to shell out $14.95 to purchase the baggage her own personal copy of "hes just not that into you". id also be more than happy to highlight, bookmark, and label in order of importance the many ways he is, in fact, not interested.
but that would be a waste of time and money ill never get back. because she doesnt get it. not yet, anyway. but i refuse to give up on something that makes me truly happy. and i refuse to make her psychotics a part of my relationship. and i refuse to fight with my amazing boyfriend about something he has no control over. and i refuse to let her win. in the words of mimi marquez from rent, "lifes too short, babe. time is flyin'. im lookin for baggage that goes with mine." so, in order to salvage my sanity and relationship, and refrain from literally taking her out, i will bitch via blog and friends. until the baggage makes it way down the turnstile and into the hands of someone who actually wants it.
[disclaimer: i started this blog post about a month ago. trying to pick through the baggage of a would-be relationship, and decide whether or not it would subside. that would-be relationship is now in full force, and im thrilled. its facebook official, people. in fact, i cant remember the last time i was this genuinely happy. before i get all sappy and "look at me", please refer to the last five thousand blog posts. i am not susie sunshine when it comes to relationships and love. havent been for awhile. and i find myself cringing at the sheer romanticism of the fact that im this giddy. ive actually started to remember what it feels like for things to be easy, and for happiness to just spring out of the most random moments of nothing. so bear with me as i continue down baggage lane.]
in answer to the obvious question - no it has not subsided. if anything, it has gotten worse. the baggage has taken on a life of its own. at first, she was just a name. then, thanks to my good friend jd, a face. then, just a phone call or a text message. when she became a living breathing person, i knew it had gotten real. and apparently in la la land, we dont understand that when someone ignores your incessant texts about things you used to have in common and blocks your phone calls so that you cannot interrupt him at 230am while he is sleeping next to his girlfriend and leaves a bar you are at instead of coming over to say hi, it does not mean he wants you back. now, im willing to shell out $14.95 to purchase the baggage her own personal copy of "hes just not that into you". id also be more than happy to highlight, bookmark, and label in order of importance the many ways he is, in fact, not interested.
but that would be a waste of time and money ill never get back. because she doesnt get it. not yet, anyway. but i refuse to give up on something that makes me truly happy. and i refuse to make her psychotics a part of my relationship. and i refuse to fight with my amazing boyfriend about something he has no control over. and i refuse to let her win. in the words of mimi marquez from rent, "lifes too short, babe. time is flyin'. im lookin for baggage that goes with mine." so, in order to salvage my sanity and relationship, and refrain from literally taking her out, i will bitch via blog and friends. until the baggage makes it way down the turnstile and into the hands of someone who actually wants it.
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