nobody likes you when youre 25?

wow. quarter century. do i feel old and wise? no not really. but i have been learning. and growing. and although im not quite where i want to be, i am making progress toward getting there. and i know ill be there someday soon. until then, im satisfied with the life i have and the truly irreplaceable people in it. i feel lucky and blessed everyday. but its been a rough couple months. and this weekend was a beautiful reminder of all that i have. among the gifts better than anything from a store - coworkers who truly care about me and make an effort every day to make my job better. friends who would do almost anything to spend my day with me, weather and travel aside. family who remembers the little things, like my love of apple pie and ivory scarves, and makes sure those little things make an appearance in my life. even acquaintances who took a minute or two out of their day to make mine a little brighter. i lost track of the number of times i have smiled since friday.

last year was tumultuous. i got my first "big girl" job. and failed for a pretty long time before i got it right. i finally feel like im catching up. im very confident in what im doing and i feel as though ive found my place in seventh grade (and i must say, seventh grade is a lot less awkward the second time around. ha). i lived with my boyfriend for the first time. or should i say, tried. and it didnt work. which brings me to where i am now. and theres a reason for everything. i moved back home. all of us living in one house for the first time in six years. yikes. its been interesting to say the least. i grew closer with friends. and reconnected with old friends. and lost touch with a few friends as well. i ended a four year relationship, probably the most difficult transition. it was all i knew for so many years. its very hard starting over, especially when you werent even sure that was what you wanted. all in all, 2009 was a very mixed up year. im hoping for more comfort and security in 2010. maybe it will come, and maybe it wont. but i do feel like im getting closer to who i want to be. and where.

so this is a big birthday for me. although its just a day, like any other day, it made me very thankful. i enjoyed a great weekend, filled with amazing friends and family, great food, fun drinks, lots of laughs and obviously dancing! and i may be a little bit in limbo. but for the first time, it feels really good. im enjoying just living life and having fun. who says just because im a quarter century i have to be all grown up and shit? i have the rest of my life for that! my birthday was just a pleasant reminder of all the wonderful things in my life. and how maybe its not perfect, but that im really happy with the way it is right now. and it made me look forward to all that comes with being 25. ah!